Since I have been back home, living the sedentary life of a worker, I have had many thoughts about what could have been if I would have chosen another destination after I left Cayman. I thought of Australia, working in a fancy beach resort, or Switzerland working at a classy ski resort, or even try the south of France and search for work on luxurious boats. But my mind was set on Whistler, at least for then. To recharge batteries. To refresh my soul. To reconnect with the people who knows me best. To soak in the comfort of familiarity in the place I would never be alone.
But here I am sitting today thinking what could have been if I chose another way? I could be working by the Great Barrier of Reef living the life ”down unda”, or I could be travelling Europe after completing a ski season in the Alps, or I could be working my butt off on some rich yachts pocketing the big dough while sailing around the Mediterranean… A lot of different things could have been, but how would I know?
I am fortunate enough to have a life full of choices: the choice of schools, the choice of clothes, the choice of friends, the choice of paths. Many children still in today’s world only have one choice: the one to survive. So I try my best to grab every opportunity that I can and live up to them. When I got that phone call to go to Cayman in 2011, I hesitated at first and am so glad I took the offer. To burst the bubble and explore the outside world was so far the best experience I ever had. Travelling is one thing, because you have a return date, therefore you know you are coming back. But living abroad is jumping in an obscure ocean filled with uncertainties and unknown. And that’s the best feeling. I remember that feeling while, in 2003, I left my hometown and travelled 5,000km by bus to Canada’s opposite coast. I learned English and developed a true passion for travelling. Indeed I’ve trotted many roads since, but I’ve stayed here the most. Now that I am back, I have difficulties to commit to anything. I got rid of most of my large belongings prior to Cayman and now, I’m afraid to get a new car, or a new bike or a stable job. I’m still afraid to unpack my boxes. I am afraid of catching up on a routine that will confirm a sedentary existence. And then I realized: how can I commit to here when I always have a foot in the door? I want to taste different lifestyles. I have to keep working on creating the next chapters in this book of life.
So what would have been if I didn’t choose to come back home? I don’t know. I can’t predict the future or create a different present. This is it right now and I am grateful for the things and people that surround me. But I am currently working on future projects that will satisfy my needs. Because I can.